Don’t Forget Your Screwdriver in the Zombie Apocalypse

When you get your bug-out bag ready for the zombie apocalypse, don’t forget to pack a screwdriver with your condoms. Not only is it a handy tool for tightening screws and, to some extent, used as a pry bar, it can double as a weapon that dispatches zombies as well. The soft fleshy bottom of the jaw is a perfect entrance point for any edged blade, such as a screwdriver. The pliant flesh yields readily and allows the blade to penetrate both the roof of the mouth and then the brain to slay the zombie.

 

Be sure to take the slot-head screwdriver and not the Phillips, since the slot head has a chiseled tip. Though, in a crunch, you could still jam that Phillips into a zombie brain. The slot head can also be used as a pry bar, whereas the Phillips is inferior in this context.

 

Light and a cinch to pack, condoms, which are essential for your bug-out bag, can be filled with water and used as canteens. You can also forego rubber bands and use condoms in their place as weapons. You could fashion a slingshot out of a wishbone-shaped tree branch and a condom by stretching the condom between the two ends of the branch. Then all you have to do is gather some stones for ammunition and you can nail that zombie smack between the eyes with your slingshot, or, even better, shoot the creature in the eye, which is easier to penetrate than the skull.

 

The zombie won’t die unless its brain is smashed. You’ve got to destroy its brain. A slingshot’s stone might be deflected by the skull, but not by an eye. The only bone the stone might encounter behind the eyes is the ethmoid bone that is eggshell fragile, located behind and between the eyes, and can be penetrated with ease. As a matter of fact, prefrontal lobotomies used to be performed in this manner back in the 1950s, with an ice pick penetrating the ethmoid bone and entering the brain to execute its surgery.

 

A condom can also be used to conceal your handgun from human marauders who will inevitably run amok during the zombie apocalypse. Insert your gun into the condom, knot the condom at the end, then insert the package into a car’s filled gas tank. Marauders will never think to look there, and, when they’re preoccupied looting your campsite you can retrieve your gun and blow them away. It is an ugly truth, which must be prepared for, that during an apocalypse armed bands of marauders will roam the wasteland preying on fellow men.


And, last but not least, a condom is a necessity if you don’t want to contract a venereal disease or don’t want to overpopulate a world that is overrun with zombies and is in the process of dying–or if you meet up with a female zombie that you feel attracted . . . No. Just say no.
href=”http://www.amzn.com/B01HSRHDNY”> />

Zombie Apocalypse: The Chad Halverson Series now has its own page

Bryan Cassiday’s shocking zombie boxed set Zombie Apocalypse:  The Chad Halverson Series now has its own Web page.  The novel is fiction, the horror is real.  Fast and furious zombie action.  Check it out.

The Walking Dead, Season 7, Episode 1

Did the graphic violence in the premiere of season 7 of The Walking Dead go beyond the pale?  To my mind, the head bashing seemed to go on a tad too long.  I don’t know if we needed to see the endless pounding of the victim’s head into a bloody pulp.  How many times did the leather-jacketed Jeffrey Dean Morgan have to pummel the guy’s head with a bat wrapped in barbed wire to prove what a heel he is?  On the other hand, nobody can deny this episode was one of the most powerful and gripping ever shown on the series.

Even while heads were being pulverized into red paste and eyes were popping out of smashed heads (“Doesn’t that hurt?”), I needed to keep watching, transfixed by the gore. For the most part, it wasn’t violence for the sake of violence.  It seemed rooted into the story and revealed the villain’s brutal character.  I’m of two minds.  I believe the show worked.  However, the graphic violence probably went on a little longer than necessary.

Explosive zombie action in Chad Halverson boxed set

The explosive zombie action in Bryan Cassiday’s boxed set Zombie Apocalypse:  The Chad Halverson Series will set your teeth on edge.  What force on earth can stop the zombies?Nobody knows.  All they can do is continue fighting, trying to kill the zombies before the zombies can kill them.  The ensuing zombie bloodbath is brutal and relentless–with the zombies gaining the upper hand all over the earth.  Get it now at Amazon.

ChadHalversonBox

E-book giveaway on Amazon of Zombie Apocalypse: The Chad Halverson Series

Enter the giveaway now for a chance to win a free e-book of Bryan Cassiday’s zombie epic Zombie Apocalypse:  The Chad Halverson Series at Amazon.

ChadHalversonBox

Zombie Apocalypse: The Chad Halverson Series

The massive epic Zombie Apocalypse:  The Chad Halverson Series  by Bryan Cassiday is almost here.  For the first time ever, the five complete and unabridged books in the series are together in one boxed set.  Soon to be released on Kindle.  The world will never be the same.

ChadHalversonBox

New Zombie Anthology in May 2016

Bryan Cassiday will be releasing a new anthology of his zombie stories together for the first time under one cover, including a brand-new story that has never before been published.  The anthology will be called The Bus Stops Here and Other Zombie Tales.

All zombies all the time. The story “The Bus Stops Here” gets its world debut here. A school bus and its adult passengers are stranded in a nightmare that gets worse by the minute.  In all these stories the zombie action is nonstop and lethal. During a zombie apocalypse, everybody is caught up in a Hobbesian world where life is nasty, brutish, and short. Along with graphic zombie mayhem these tales depict the lengths that individuals will go to to survive.  But even the strong will have trouble surviving . . .

It’s not just the voracious brutality of the zombies, but the psychological toll they take on their human victims.  Even if you’re lucky enough to survive their teeth, you may lose your mind in the process.

bus stops here-cover

The Bus Stops Here and Other Zombie Tales is now available for preorder on Smashwords.