Never Touch a Zombie

Whatever you do, don’t touch a zombie.  These creatures are filthy.  Lice, maggots, bugs of all description, and teeming multitudes of bacteria cover the creature’s putrescent flesh.  Zombies are, after all, dead, even though they possess motility.  Their entire bodies are necrotic.

If you have an open wound and a zombie touches it, that wound will become infected.  Remember your mother’s advice:  don’t play with dead things.  Your mother was right.  Dead bodies are breeding grounds for diseases.  Zombies are the walking dead.  If their bite doesn’t kill you, the diseases they carry will.

There is some question as to whether an open wound touched by a zombie will necessarily lead to the the victim’s zombification.  For certain, the wound will become infected.  Disinfect this wound immediately!  This advice cannot be overstated.  If possible, take penicillin for at least two weeks following the aforementioned type of physical contact with a zombie.

Whether the festering flesh thus infected will lead to zombification is as yet undetermined.  There have been several reports that infection can lead to zombification.  But, at this time, none of these reports have been substantiated.  This subject needs further study.

When handling a zombie that you have destroyed, be sure to wear protective gear, such as gloves.  Make sure your gloves are waterproof.  You don’t want any zombie fluids on your skin.  The zombie disease is transmitted by means of the zombie’s fluids, namely its saliva.  At all costs, do not allow zombie fluids to make contact with your mucous membranes.  Infection of the mucous membranes via zombie fluids can lead to zombification.

If you have time, pile up the zombies you have dispatched into a pyre and torch them.  These creatures are infested with vermin and diseases.  To insure against further infection, burn their plague-riddled bodies to ashes.  Unlike the legendary phoenix, zombies cannot rise from the ashes.

All traces of zombies must be wiped off the face of the earth to insure the safety of mankind.